River Queen

River Queen

Hey! Look at me! I’m writing a blog entry! It’s been so long… I blame sitting in front of a computer at work for my lack of interest in sitting in front of a computer at home. But today I am at home sick so rather than watch another movie I’m writing! Woot! (It might stop me scratching… yeah – think on that…)

So, I watched River Queen (no not The African Queen – that’s a different movie which is really quite a bit better in my opinion but actually completely different except for the part with a boat on a river and a beautiful landscape and a woman falling in love with a man she probably shouldn’t but that’s every second movie really apart from the river bit).

I liked River Queen but it was too long but it was pretty and kind of sweet (except for the blood and death etc) so I’d give it a thumbs up.

It’s set in New Zealand which I also give a massive thumbs up though I’ve never been there. It looks amazing! You thought it looked good in Lord of the Rings et al? River Queen wins that battle. If you don’t want to visit NZ after watching this film then fair enough really – but it made me want to.

River Queen is set in 18somethings NZ when the Maori people tried really hard to make the English people leave. Yet  this white girl falls in love with a Maori boy and everything goes a little awry as she tries to navigate two completely different cultures (OMG! It’s a river and she’s navigating cultures! What is she the Queen of?!?). She’s pretty cool and makes some good decisions but I’m not sure a white woman in 18something NZ would really do quite as well as this woman does no matter who loves her.

It’s quite gritty and dark with some gruesome battles and no holds on the horror inflicted on locals by invading armies. It’s hard to watch at times because I couldn’t help but wonder at how easy it was for one group of people not to see another as ‘people’ (continuing crappy issue unfortunately).

Also Kiefer Sutherland is in this, speaking Oirish which I could barely understand and you get to see his bum. Thumbs down on that.




Mean Girls

Mean girls

Mean Girls, very mean girls but not as mean as I expected. It’s taken me a long time to see this film and I wonder if that has slightly spoiled the experience. People luuuurve this movie and I knew that so I thought it would be awesome. I was ever so slightly disappointed though. I don’t luuuurve it but I like it, I may even love it.

Everyone loves Tina Fey now (and so do I, she is hilarious) but I think she was holding back when she wrote this screenplay. It really felt like Heathers for the noughties or Clueless with less money rather than anything new.

It’s the same old formula you’ve seen before (Heathers, Clueless…), three girls take on a new girl and slowly turn her into versions of themselves against her better judgement. Then they all learn lessons about being yourself and not being so judgey (not so much like Heathers admittedly, although being killed off because you’re a horrible person is quite the lesson really).

Further, Lindsay Lohan is a horrible actor. If I’d known she was the star I probably would have struck it off the list immediately. Well, maybe not but I would prefer to know if something contains Lindsay Lohan prior to watching it so I can prepare myself for bad actor rage.

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Rachel McAdams are all good actors though, which lessened the bad actor rage although it didn’t lessen the horror of the Lindsay Lohan voice over. Why did it have to be her? Even her voice gives me bad actor rage!

However! The joy of Mean Girls is that the dialogue is clever and it is funny. There are lots of blink-and-you’ll-miss-it puns and word based in-jokes and it’s less reliant on physical or slapstick tomfoolery. Of course there is plenty of that too. This is a teen film after all and where would we be without a few cheap laughs.

As I like to warn Miss 11 – this is a kissing movie. Romance y’all. Teen romance! There, I said it, and that is all on that.

The basic message which no-one can fault is ‘love yourself for who you are and people will love you back – eventually, maybe’. There is a message to young women to stop carrying on about people’s flaws and differences and just get on with being a good person. Concentrate on what is good in people. I like that message, I may even love it.

Classic Tina Fey (as teacher Mrs Norbury) quote, that I loved: “you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores.”

Nice. I may even love it.

If I was going to recommend a teen rom-com movie to anyone I would recommend this one, alongside Heathers and Clueless, so you really get to span the decades in terms of fashion and who is considered a good-looking young man (Christian Slater (he was good looking once okay , stop judging me!)? Paul Rudd (I know, weird right? – he was considered a rom-com hotty for a minute there)? The guy in Mean Girls (whoever he is)?). At least because it seems that not much else has changed.